Why am I a mother?

I had one of those days of being a mother when you ask yourself-who in there right mind decides to be a mother? Oh yeah, me that's who. Sometimes I feel totally competent at my job and look at my kids and think o.k. we are doing pretty good here. Then there are days like today when I think, I don't know what the H I'm doing and my kids are going to be failures because they had a nut job for a mom. Well thank goodness for the good days right? I have to learn how to communicate better with my third child, she is my head strong, confident, "I don't care what anyone says about me" personality. Which in many ways will serve her well, so I try HARD not to change her. I just wish that she and I could put ourselves into each other's shoes better. I need to apologize to her for being to impatient with my words. As soon as she sees me get the slightest bit frustrated or about to give a synopsis on why she needs to obey her mother, I see this switch go off in her brain and I know she is not listening. And then I think of myself with my dad. He kind of had a habit of lecturing and going a bit overboard to where I would just tune him out and take my thoughts somewhere else. I realize I am repeating that negative behavior and I need to change. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, so that explains why I feel so crazy! I am going to try some new things with her and see what results we get. Prayer is also something that I rely on so much as a mom-but I don't think I exercise enough faith in the Lord that he can help me be a better mom. I think I just use him as a sounding board but don't listen for his counsel and words of wisdom. Boy do I have a lot of weaknesses that need to be made strengths! But how grateful I am to know that I have someone who knows just how to help me and knows me better than I know me. After all he promises to make our burdens light. I need to work on my relationship with my Savior, I think I have been forgetting him lately. And that always makes everything more difficult when you are not keeping him as a close friend. So as Burt would say from Mary Poppins- "you've got to grind, grind, grind at that grindstone". Tomorrow is a new day and thank heavens for that!